Heaven, Hell, or Olam HaBa?

Pick One by mes114 on Polyvore.com

I admire (and accept) what Jewish thought has to say regarding eternity. The idea of Heaven or Hell is not a disturbing or daunting question for them. Heaven after death is not a matter of ultimatums. By this, I mean Jews do not understand Heaven and Hell under a Christian idea of "If you don't believe __, then hell, if you do believe __, heaven". 

They are concerned with serving God now, as God has commanded them in the Scriptures, not concerned with "Olam Ha-Ba" or "the world to come". It is simply not a matter of concern, because Jews admit that we cannot know for certain what is beyond this life, and even if we knew, we do not have the ability to determine our destiny, anyway. 

What is beautiful about Jewish thought about the Afterlife is that they do not submit to God because of a fear of entering Hell, but from pure love of God and desire to follow his commands. There is no means to an end for them, (in contrast to Christian ideology that says if you believe in Jesus, you will go to Heaven, therefore believing in Jesus would be a means to an end)  They believe, what is the point of musing about something we cannot determine for certain? We do not know or have absolute proof about what will happen in eternity; we can only speculate. So let us live our physical existence in the best, most just, caring, loving way possible. Let us live the existence we were made to live, and trust that if we do this, God will take care of the rest.

What is our earthly life if all we are seeking is some Heaven that we don't know anything about? Humanity is created essentially for earth. That is an obvious fact. We are physical-we eat, sleep, laugh, have intercourse, converse, and so forth. We have bones, breath, and bowels. So if God created man to live on earth, and our sole purpose in existence on earth is to help others "secure" what is beyond this life, then what the hell (pun intended) is life?

I believe in Olam Ha-Ba. I do hope it is true. But I say, "Enough!" to living for what is mere speculation that we have absolutely no control over either way.

We are of this world, so let's live in it the best way possible. 

beeeeee happy. jump for joy.

Life. is. good. by sashanaomi on Polyvore.com

"Life is something that everyone should try at least once."
-Henry J. Tillman

I am currently having trouble with negativity. Or, should I say, having trouble being positive. Listening to music, change of perspective, holding babies, drinking coffee and making polyvores is healing me slowly.

I hate times like these, when I cannot write and I cannot think and I wish life was different but I don't know how or why. Just different. Pinch me and wake me up.

flashbacks

With precisely 4 weeks to go, I have a lot of flashbacks. Sometimes these flashbacks arise from a familiar smell, or something I eat. Sometimes I listen to a song that takes me back. Or sometimes they come because I want them to come. In my mind, I have created a picture of our relationship from the memories we trekked through over the years.

I was in the bathroom washing my hands when I thought of the first time I told him I want to spend the rest of my life with him. We were lying on my kitchen floor together, as we used to do so we could cuddle, yet stay out of my bedroom. We were lying behind the island, in front of the kitchen sink. I told him that he was the one I wanted to spend my life with. The moment was like our first kiss: regrettable, yet precious. This is how our relationship works. It is a peaceful fight, it is a marvelous combustion, it is a work in progress.

What I told him that day I regretted because I did not know if I could follow through. I did not really know if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. It was regrettable because I wish I knew then what I do now. That he is my world, encompassed in a human being. That being without him is worse than being dead at 25, worse than majoring in math, worse than never eating another oreo.

I know now that I want to spend the rest of my life with Kristopher Cody.

And it is not that he does not deserve me. We do not deserve each other.

We like to cancel each other out that way.

nothing without him

I’ve tried to imagine what life would be like without him. The hardest truth about our love is that I can’t. I’ve found that there is a fear in love-fear that is desperate and sure, that I can’t escape if I tried. His breath is the very thing that gives me hope and the very thing that terrifies me. When his breath is gone, how will I find mine again?
It goes against everything I grew up believing.
I shouldn’t be nothing without him.
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.
I guess I just haven’t arrived yet. Maybe our thirteen month break-up was so painful because I didn’t allow myself to move on.
Or maybe I found that I really can’t live without him.

the choice...life or death

Here's the scenario: you are sitting alone with your husband on a set of football bleachers for no particular reason. An empty football field is before you, and the night is serene and chilly. Your arms are wrapped around him; your head is rested peacefully on his broad shoulder. You close your eyes and you are simply enjoying each others' presence. The silence between you is perfect.

Not more than a minute later, a random young man runs up the bleachers holding a small black 22 caliber handgun about four inches from your husband's face, threatening to take his life.

What would you do?

I know what I would do. It happened in a dream I had last night. It was one of those nightmares that seemed real, that I was drenching in sweat and praising God when I awoke.

He's not my husband, yet. I am waiting for the day. I'm relieved to know what I would do in the event of deciding life and death; I think I made a good choice. I held Kristopher tighter as the random young man stood over me, cussing and yelling. The gun still pointed directly at my husband. The man shot once-he deliberately missed my husband's head for a scare. My heart literally skipped a beat and through my pleading and tears I looked up to see Kristopher's eyes still full of life. He was calm, holding me tightly to his side. He was looking straight at the man, trying to reason with him. I knew the moment was coming-this man was going to take my first love's life with a bullet. So, I kissed Kristopher one last time and rested our temples side by side. I told the man to shoot. Then I woke up.