by Demented-Bunny on Polyvore.com

Why is it that I can be so strong for everyone else, then at the end of the day, I fall into my husband's arms and cry?

Shane Ryan Ellis continued...

I find myself thinking about him a lot lately. It comes in waves...I will suppress it for a while; let my mind clear itself from the pain of not having him anymore, then it comes again. I try not to let it get to me. I have cried a few times in the past few years. But he is gone, things like this happen, and I do not like it. I never really believed the statement "Only the good die young." Then Shane died, and now I wonder..

For some reason the slideshow did not like words underneath it. It wanted to show off alone.

nothing without him

I’ve tried to imagine what life would be like without him. The hardest truth about our love is that I can’t. I’ve found that there is a fear in love-fear that is desperate and sure, that I can’t escape if I tried. His breath is the very thing that gives me hope and the very thing that terrifies me. When his breath is gone, how will I find mine again?
It goes against everything I grew up believing.
I shouldn’t be nothing without him.
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.
I guess I just haven’t arrived yet. Maybe our thirteen month break-up was so painful because I didn’t allow myself to move on.
Or maybe I found that I really can’t live without him.