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October 07, 2007

nothing without him

I’ve tried to imagine what life would be like without him. The hardest truth about our love is that I can’t. I’ve found that there is a fear in love-fear that is desperate and sure, that I can’t escape if I tried. His breath is the very thing that gives me hope and the very thing that terrifies me. When his breath is gone, how will I find mine again?
It goes against everything I grew up believing.
I shouldn’t be nothing without him.
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.
I guess I just haven’t arrived yet. Maybe our thirteen month break-up was so painful because I didn’t allow myself to move on.
Or maybe I found that I really can’t live without him.

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