shanie.

Remember always
The times that once were
Before you were gone

Remember one time
We were in your room
Stacked books in our arms

Remember that tent
The one we had built
You read the piled books

Remember those words
Words I could not read
I was young, unschooled

Remember your love
You did not care if
I could not read. You
Encouraged me on.

I remember. I
Made up stories off
The top of my head.
I never did that
Before you. Before
You were gone.


I just wrote this poem in like, 5 minutes, because I need a memory poem by tomorrow and I wanna go to bed ;o)

intention vs. reality

I intended for this blog to be about my Kristopher Cody, and our journey together. I have so many crazy thoughts and deep feelings for this man, it is a shame for me to keep it inside. It drives me nuts to keep it inside.

I strayed from blogs about him for a good reason; it was a time in my life I had to "leave" him and 'find myself'. I'd say I've made a 150 degree turn around now. I am becoming me again, but fear I will never completely arrive because of the scarring that coming to Cornerstone has caused. Or maybe these scars are good. Maybe God had to perform surgery to make Sasha better so she can be more suitable for his Kingdom. But the scars still hurt. I have to be patient while they heal.

In the meantime, I love nostalgia. The best way I find Sasha is through her loaded journals, because those were her private havens where she put her full self. Notice the word "were". She doesn't write anymore. She lost her passion. She lost herself! She so lost it! I don't feel like Sasha is herself anymore, but she is getting there.

Anyway, about nostalgia, and about my Kristopher, I have a story I want to share. Passages from my journals will tell the story.

My Story

I decided put my videography on here. It is hard for me to do this because I am such an inward person-I like to hide, and mull over things my own way, by myself. I have discovered that there are people in this world that care to share-they care to love and influence people, but they just do it in a different way that others may not think is the best. Just because some people are more inward than others doesn't mean they cannot impact the world just the same. The hope I expect people to find in my video is that everything does work out in the end. It really does.