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January 06, 2010


At first, I didn't want to say goodbye to another decade. I still cannot wrap my mind around the fact that it is 2010. This decade was the first I can remember very clearly. I can remember very distinctly what happened each year and it is very scary to me how fast the time has past. Here's my decade summed up:

2000: The year of confusion. The start of my sciatic nerve problems (ohhhh fun.)
2001: The year of grief. By far the year I wish we could have skipped...Shane passed away.
2002: The year of growth for me. I went to camp that summer and had my favorite counselor, Amber, who helped me through a lot of doubt and fear.
2003: The year of new beginnings. I became closer to Sanyelle this summer, (choosing each other as secret sisters and going to camp for two weeks together) who I call my lifelong best friend. I started high school, made a lot of good friends, and on November 1, 2003, I met a boy named Cody.
2004: The year of love. Cody and I hung out all summer and on my sixteenth birthday, he sent me flowers (and Krissy, my frog!) and held my hand for the first time. The start of a beautiful relationship. I also went to Chrysalis this year, which was unforgettable.
2005: The year of obscurity. My family and I took a trip to Florida, which was awesome, and I participated in a mission trip to Shepherd's ministries, which was always a dream of mine. I also met the chiropractor who literally saved my life from pain. Yet this year, Cody and I broke up, which broke and confused me and I had to learn how to move on.
2006: The year of independence. I spent my first summer as a CIT at Twin Lakes Camp, which was one of the best, if not the best summer of my life so far. I learned how to be independent: from Cody and from my parents. I also went to prom this year, which was so much fun, and started my senior year of high school.
2007: The year of opportunity. I graduated high school on May 26 and went to college Aug. 12. In between those two dates was the absolute worst summer of my life, a summer I dare not even think about. But a lot of new things happened: I entered college, changed my major to English Literature, made new friends, and got engaged! Wow, what a year.
2008: The year of happiness. This has to be, by far, one of the best years of this decade. I got married on May 31. Duh. And on May 30, I got a call from Kohl's that I had an interview! 13 days later, I started at Kohl's. I also started working at the Herald this year, which was stressful in some ways, but exciting in others. Horrifyingly, another cousin, Evin, passed away far too young on Aug. 29. I spent some time in Chicago with Sanyelle :).
2009: The year of learning. I have changed a lot this year. Really, ever since I came to college I have changed in a lot of ways, some good and some bad. I have changed because of a mixture of things, mainly through having to sort out my own way and worldview apart from my upbringing. I still have to sort through and figure this out, but overall it has been a great (and oh-so-fast) year overall.
2010: The year of ? A blank page, yet to be filled, except for one thing happening on August 7 :). What else? I guess those blanks are yet to be filled, but I am so excited to find out what is in store.

Life is a journey and a hope. This morning I woke up laying on my wrist and felt a pulse against my cheek. I observed my wrist and how consistently my heart pumps to give me life, even to my wrist. Why do I fail to notice how lucky I am to be alive? It is the most incredible gift, and I have yet another year before me to live.

The 90's felt like forever. Maybe it is because I was a child and didn't have a real view of time yet. The passing of a month meant one step closer to my next birthday, not rent due. The summer meant freedom to play, not more hours to work. I guess this happens to all of us though.

A good friend at work told me on January 1, 2010 that the passing of time is not reason to mourn but to celebrate a new phase in my life. And a new phase it is. A new phase I will accept.

I am ready for 2010.

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